that disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy....

So i started a new one, hopefully this time i wont piss someone off.
eh whatever.

so getting a job is becoming difficult due to the fact that no one has the money to spoil themselves anyway.
the hours seem bleak and i don't know what else i could do as a second job.
i'm sure i'll figure something out but i have to figure it out fast.

the year is almost over.

I have to do the laundry, and eat some food.

i find that i havent been eating as well as i feel i should im only hungry at night its really unhealthy. on the other side im really into trying to work out. i wanna be fit again but its a two step process.
and i can't be doing well with one and not the other.
and im really excited for yoga on wenesdays, i read "be here now" and its really motivating me into centering myself.

i got in a verbal altercation with my mother yesturday. my cousin had a wedding party but i didnt get the invite info until last minute so i opted to take a job instead on saturday and never made it too her party, i told tara i wasnt sure if i made it. so everything was fine.
well i went to see my mother yesturday after my interview and she yelled at me and said i was disapointing because i didnt tell HER i wasnt going to make it. and she said that i do that alot .
so i got pissed and asked her to name a time that happened besides this time. She got so mad she said she could think of a time because she was so busy and she said there just was.
I was so mad, she was being so rediculous that i said she coudnt think of a time because there wasnt one and i left. she called me later crying because shes been so upset about all the drama going on in my family and she just wished that i was around at the party and how she just has alot going on and blah blah blah, but kept up with the bit about being disapointed in me. I just couldnt believe it.

I mean do i disapoint people all the time?
Am I and uncaring asshole?
I mean what do people really think?

So many times ive talked with people about how so and so is doing something irritating , and this is bothering me, or what is so and so thinking or doing.

and i wonder what people say about me, am i annoying , what do people really think?
sometimes i really want to know.
im starving.