needle in the hay....

I have to say that I strongly detest when someone says "you have no idea what it feels like to ____________" or "you don't know what I'M going through."


Mostly because I feel like its selfish, i don't care if that an arrogant, or ignorant statement.
but it just is

its like you have to make an excuse for the way you let your self feel
the way YOU let yourself feel

ive done it, ive blamed life for the way i handled a situation. Ive "been to hell and back"
i went through the i dont know who i am, im not me bullshit.
but the truth is
we change EVERYDAY
i look at pictures of me a year ago and i have no idea who that person is, cant even idenify with her, i wouldnt be like her now. if i look back further and see who i was 3 years ago its even worse, 5 years ago 6 , 7
when i was skinny, sick, in love, dead, in highschool, when i did ballet, when i laughed, when i cryed, when i was an artist, when i wasnt hungry, when i dated him, or when i did that, or when i dated her, or when he died, or when he was born. In each of those times and each of those pictures, she was me and thats the part that i forget.
but the sooner i relieze that that was me and that i am her the sooner i can move forward to being myself.

life is unfair, fucked, hard, cold, dark, unkind, unsympathetic, insensitive, complex and beautiful.
its what we choose to see, be, feel , experience, extrapolate, LEARN.
there is so much truth to i learn something new everyday.
so much

I would not trade one bad thing thats happened to me because its taught me something. Has it made me a better person? i don't know but a wise man once said

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."


everyone has terrible things happen to them, everyone gets dealt a shitty hand, we have all been through "it" what ever it may be, and i think its important to keep this in mind next time
life gets the best of you,

and you look to another person and say "you have no idea"