i also forgot to metion that something really unusual has been happening in the last 3 years or so
i see 527, all the time
5/27 is my date of birth, as well as the day i was married
i just happen to look up and the clock says 5:27
thats the most routine happening
i see it in purchase totals
just last night i went to cvs and purchase a bag of orange mints and a cookie ice cream sandwich and at the last moment a skor bar
total $5.27
that happens a ton as well
i wish i new if it meant something or if its just simply a normal happening i just happen to be paying to much attention too.
i wish i was a numerologist.
Monday, September 29, 2008
the underwear goes inside the pants....
well i have to say that when i was on the verge of giving up up my dreams and what i wanted, fate smiled and turned around and hit me with a "just kidding!" and threw me the perfect job.
its crazy i was ready to be a ups girl, filled out an app made an appointment and was all ready to settle.
but never did i think it would turn around like this, or this fast, and everything happens for a reason.
it all started with a facebook status change at about 5ish on wenesday.....
i had spent a good chunk of the day doing mindless time consumers, like sudoku and some edward gorey books, and heavely searching the net for a noname song that i heard at american eagle while shopping on monday with saman<3. i couldnt for the life of me remember the lyrics and i didnt have the slightest idea about what the artist could possibly be . all i knew was i was deperate to hear the song in my inner ear cannals once more.
but alas no luck. im still on the hunt for it. (ill have you know the last time this unknown song hunt happened to me it lasted about three years on and off, id hear a bit of it on the radio go crazy and axiously await the radio dj to tell me the artist and the name of the song, but that moment never came. then finally some time later i finally saw the video on imf and was overjoyed. and yes it was a toadies song. and yes im not ashamed of it.)
Anyways back to the point, one of my friends on facebook posted a status change saying that she was so "nieve" and i thought the misspelling was funny , not that im the greatest speller in the world, i misspell as much as the next guy, but i thought id add alittle humor to it and i posted a status change entiled "dorothea wonders why people are so nieve"
and within minutes in true anal retentive fashion my friend andrew(chief of the grammer and spelling police) flew in to correct me as always. ( i once misspelled a word in his presence and he made these rediculous signs with the word i misspelled its definition as well as the right word and it definiton and posted them around my corner in art, we get a good laugh about it now but then i could have shoved his fancy signs up his urethera.)
so anyways i told him that it was a completely intentional mistake and for him not to get his panities in a tist, and threw him a smug "go paint a house"(his has been painting his grandmothers house for a few weeks now). And desided i wouldnt mind helping i had not seen his grandmother in a number of years and was curious as to how she was, and wanted to visit.
so i spent a few hours of my afternoon stripping paint, sanding priming and powerwashing (the powerwashing being the best part). Had a nice lunch and came home.
at this point i got to thinking how i had really excersiced well today and how tom had metioned that he wasnt going to do yoga this evening because he had skipped work out on monday and wanted to lift this evening. this is were fate peeked in on me and what i did next was a very crucial part to where i went next.
so i change my status on facebook again before i take a brief nap. "dorothea is going to work out instead of yoga." note that i posted this at 4:33pm and then proceeded to my slumber.
now while i was snozzing my post caught the eye of my friend marnie( i used to work with marnie at the gap and had not seen nor spoken to her in some time. she was definatly one of my favorite people to be around while i was there. i specifically remember her giving me a hug when i left for boston and telling me that she doesnt give hugs but she wanted me to have one<3. she also really enjoys the gym and all things fitness which is why i think that my post caught her interest, the work out part and the yoga. )
anyway marnie comments on my status saying that yoga is working out.
THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT PLOT POINT.
i quickly metioned that i ment cardio apposed to stretching, (I was wondering why today people were paying so much attention to my status updates and was wondering how many more corrections i was going to get) added a breif bit of how are you and i miss you and for some strange reason i found myself typing "find me a jobbbbb" please note that i really had not thought this out and even at this moment not sure why i chose to include this. i mean marnie has always had good jobs but she isnt a hairdresser, and she doesnt own a salon so she wouldnt be the best person to ask if i was searching for a salon job. please note again that i am happy i asked.
so i ate dinner and heading to the work out, i did my normal work out video and left the group early to hear a voicemail that i had recieved while working out. (please note also that lanes parents were in the "den" watching thier evening programs as usual), i waved and headed to the door for a better service area. listened to my voicemails, nothing good, and headed back inside.
at this point i stopped in the "den" sat in my usual spot to the left never to the right, and gave the update on my life to them. my dissapointment in the job world my worry about the mall at christmas. my struggle and woe about having to get a job that was regular, not something i had just spent 9 months of my life prepping for.
lanes mother was appathetic while lanes dad in his normal fashion fed me the cold hard truth, just get a job any job, you want money just do it. which is true. at this point the boys had come up from working out and ryan suggested UPS, and went through the pro's and con's with me, and like the good friend that he is offered to make sure i got there becuase i could just carpool with him and natty and maybe even cp. so the job seemed easy enough after much debate , plus it would be a good way to get in shape. although it wasnt the most attractive job, but beggers cant be choosers.
so i desided that i would fill out an application that evening when tom and i got home. and i did just that. and all the time i was thinking of my UPS application i hadn't given a thought to marnie and her comments so i checked facebook once again and saw that she had commented again. and was unconcerned with my "i miss you, how are you bit." and went straight into " what kid of job do you want, Do you have your licence?"
i told her i did get it but no one would give me the time of day, and i had no intetion of dealing with the mall or boston at this point.
and i went to bed.
the next morning i awoke to a phone call from marnie telling me that the salon she went too was looking for a full time salon coordinator and needed one asap, and she asked me if i was interested and of course i was more than interested i wanted it. she told me she would call her salon and have the owner call me and withing minutes i was talking to my new boss, Barbara.
She asked me right away if I could come in that night and off course i jumped all over the interview.
So i went in hoping that i could get the job, I have to say that the atmostsphere of this place was so inviting for once. nobody looked at me funny, no scowling , only smiles and warm welcomes , especially barbara, she smiled at me and said you must be dorothea! (but it wasnt a fake happy or a fact smile , it was surprisingly genuine.) so we went in to have an interview and she was interested in me she loved my clothes and thought i was as cute as a button.
my heart swelled, FINALLY someones going to give me a chance.
So she told me to come in the next day, but not to say see you tommorrow when i went out there because she didnt want the other girl waiting for and interview to hear that i was the one who got the job. i couldnt believe it i was so happy!
And now i cant wait to go to work tommorrow, it feels wonderful.
not to metion 40hrs a week on a set schedule and 11bucks and hourrrrrr
life is good<3.
its crazy i was ready to be a ups girl, filled out an app made an appointment and was all ready to settle.
but never did i think it would turn around like this, or this fast, and everything happens for a reason.
it all started with a facebook status change at about 5ish on wenesday.....
i had spent a good chunk of the day doing mindless time consumers, like sudoku and some edward gorey books, and heavely searching the net for a noname song that i heard at american eagle while shopping on monday with saman<3. i couldnt for the life of me remember the lyrics and i didnt have the slightest idea about what the artist could possibly be . all i knew was i was deperate to hear the song in my inner ear cannals once more.
but alas no luck. im still on the hunt for it. (ill have you know the last time this unknown song hunt happened to me it lasted about three years on and off, id hear a bit of it on the radio go crazy and axiously await the radio dj to tell me the artist and the name of the song, but that moment never came. then finally some time later i finally saw the video on imf and was overjoyed. and yes it was a toadies song. and yes im not ashamed of it.)
Anyways back to the point, one of my friends on facebook posted a status change saying that she was so "nieve" and i thought the misspelling was funny , not that im the greatest speller in the world, i misspell as much as the next guy, but i thought id add alittle humor to it and i posted a status change entiled "dorothea wonders why people are so nieve"
and within minutes in true anal retentive fashion my friend andrew(chief of the grammer and spelling police) flew in to correct me as always. ( i once misspelled a word in his presence and he made these rediculous signs with the word i misspelled its definition as well as the right word and it definiton and posted them around my corner in art, we get a good laugh about it now but then i could have shoved his fancy signs up his urethera.)
so anyways i told him that it was a completely intentional mistake and for him not to get his panities in a tist, and threw him a smug "go paint a house"(his has been painting his grandmothers house for a few weeks now). And desided i wouldnt mind helping i had not seen his grandmother in a number of years and was curious as to how she was, and wanted to visit.
so i spent a few hours of my afternoon stripping paint, sanding priming and powerwashing (the powerwashing being the best part). Had a nice lunch and came home.
at this point i got to thinking how i had really excersiced well today and how tom had metioned that he wasnt going to do yoga this evening because he had skipped work out on monday and wanted to lift this evening. this is were fate peeked in on me and what i did next was a very crucial part to where i went next.
so i change my status on facebook again before i take a brief nap. "dorothea is going to work out instead of yoga." note that i posted this at 4:33pm and then proceeded to my slumber.
now while i was snozzing my post caught the eye of my friend marnie( i used to work with marnie at the gap and had not seen nor spoken to her in some time. she was definatly one of my favorite people to be around while i was there. i specifically remember her giving me a hug when i left for boston and telling me that she doesnt give hugs but she wanted me to have one<3. she also really enjoys the gym and all things fitness which is why i think that my post caught her interest, the work out part and the yoga. )
anyway marnie comments on my status saying that yoga is working out.
THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT PLOT POINT.
i quickly metioned that i ment cardio apposed to stretching, (I was wondering why today people were paying so much attention to my status updates and was wondering how many more corrections i was going to get) added a breif bit of how are you and i miss you and for some strange reason i found myself typing "find me a jobbbbb" please note that i really had not thought this out and even at this moment not sure why i chose to include this. i mean marnie has always had good jobs but she isnt a hairdresser, and she doesnt own a salon so she wouldnt be the best person to ask if i was searching for a salon job. please note again that i am happy i asked.
so i ate dinner and heading to the work out, i did my normal work out video and left the group early to hear a voicemail that i had recieved while working out. (please note also that lanes parents were in the "den" watching thier evening programs as usual), i waved and headed to the door for a better service area. listened to my voicemails, nothing good, and headed back inside.
at this point i stopped in the "den" sat in my usual spot to the left never to the right, and gave the update on my life to them. my dissapointment in the job world my worry about the mall at christmas. my struggle and woe about having to get a job that was regular, not something i had just spent 9 months of my life prepping for.
lanes mother was appathetic while lanes dad in his normal fashion fed me the cold hard truth, just get a job any job, you want money just do it. which is true. at this point the boys had come up from working out and ryan suggested UPS, and went through the pro's and con's with me, and like the good friend that he is offered to make sure i got there becuase i could just carpool with him and natty and maybe even cp. so the job seemed easy enough after much debate , plus it would be a good way to get in shape. although it wasnt the most attractive job, but beggers cant be choosers.
so i desided that i would fill out an application that evening when tom and i got home. and i did just that. and all the time i was thinking of my UPS application i hadn't given a thought to marnie and her comments so i checked facebook once again and saw that she had commented again. and was unconcerned with my "i miss you, how are you bit." and went straight into " what kid of job do you want, Do you have your licence?"
i told her i did get it but no one would give me the time of day, and i had no intetion of dealing with the mall or boston at this point.
and i went to bed.
the next morning i awoke to a phone call from marnie telling me that the salon she went too was looking for a full time salon coordinator and needed one asap, and she asked me if i was interested and of course i was more than interested i wanted it. she told me she would call her salon and have the owner call me and withing minutes i was talking to my new boss, Barbara.
She asked me right away if I could come in that night and off course i jumped all over the interview.
So i went in hoping that i could get the job, I have to say that the atmostsphere of this place was so inviting for once. nobody looked at me funny, no scowling , only smiles and warm welcomes , especially barbara, she smiled at me and said you must be dorothea! (but it wasnt a fake happy or a fact smile , it was surprisingly genuine.) so we went in to have an interview and she was interested in me she loved my clothes and thought i was as cute as a button.
my heart swelled, FINALLY someones going to give me a chance.
So she told me to come in the next day, but not to say see you tommorrow when i went out there because she didnt want the other girl waiting for and interview to hear that i was the one who got the job. i couldnt believe it i was so happy!
And now i cant wait to go to work tommorrow, it feels wonderful.
not to metion 40hrs a week on a set schedule and 11bucks and hourrrrrr
life is good<3.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
that disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy....
So i started a new one, hopefully this time i wont piss someone off.
eh whatever.
so getting a job is becoming difficult due to the fact that no one has the money to spoil themselves anyway.
the hours seem bleak and i don't know what else i could do as a second job.
i'm sure i'll figure something out but i have to figure it out fast.
the year is almost over.
I have to do the laundry, and eat some food.
i find that i havent been eating as well as i feel i should im only hungry at night its really unhealthy. on the other side im really into trying to work out. i wanna be fit again but its a two step process.
and i can't be doing well with one and not the other.
and im really excited for yoga on wenesdays, i read "be here now" and its really motivating me into centering myself.
i got in a verbal altercation with my mother yesturday. my cousin had a wedding party but i didnt get the invite info until last minute so i opted to take a job instead on saturday and never made it too her party, i told tara i wasnt sure if i made it. so everything was fine.
well i went to see my mother yesturday after my interview and she yelled at me and said i was disapointing because i didnt tell HER i wasnt going to make it. and she said that i do that alot .
so i got pissed and asked her to name a time that happened besides this time. She got so mad she said she could think of a time because she was so busy and she said there just was.
I was so mad, she was being so rediculous that i said she coudnt think of a time because there wasnt one and i left. she called me later crying because shes been so upset about all the drama going on in my family and she just wished that i was around at the party and how she just has alot going on and blah blah blah, but kept up with the bit about being disapointed in me. I just couldnt believe it.
I mean do i disapoint people all the time?
Am I and uncaring asshole?
I mean what do people really think?
So many times ive talked with people about how so and so is doing something irritating , and this is bothering me, or what is so and so thinking or doing.
and i wonder what people say about me, am i annoying , what do people really think?
sometimes i really want to know.
im starving.
eh whatever.
so getting a job is becoming difficult due to the fact that no one has the money to spoil themselves anyway.
the hours seem bleak and i don't know what else i could do as a second job.
i'm sure i'll figure something out but i have to figure it out fast.
the year is almost over.
I have to do the laundry, and eat some food.
i find that i havent been eating as well as i feel i should im only hungry at night its really unhealthy. on the other side im really into trying to work out. i wanna be fit again but its a two step process.
and i can't be doing well with one and not the other.
and im really excited for yoga on wenesdays, i read "be here now" and its really motivating me into centering myself.
i got in a verbal altercation with my mother yesturday. my cousin had a wedding party but i didnt get the invite info until last minute so i opted to take a job instead on saturday and never made it too her party, i told tara i wasnt sure if i made it. so everything was fine.
well i went to see my mother yesturday after my interview and she yelled at me and said i was disapointing because i didnt tell HER i wasnt going to make it. and she said that i do that alot .
so i got pissed and asked her to name a time that happened besides this time. She got so mad she said she could think of a time because she was so busy and she said there just was.
I was so mad, she was being so rediculous that i said she coudnt think of a time because there wasnt one and i left. she called me later crying because shes been so upset about all the drama going on in my family and she just wished that i was around at the party and how she just has alot going on and blah blah blah, but kept up with the bit about being disapointed in me. I just couldnt believe it.
I mean do i disapoint people all the time?
Am I and uncaring asshole?
I mean what do people really think?
So many times ive talked with people about how so and so is doing something irritating , and this is bothering me, or what is so and so thinking or doing.
and i wonder what people say about me, am i annoying , what do people really think?
sometimes i really want to know.
im starving.
needle in the hay....
I have to say that I strongly detest when someone says "you have no idea what it feels like to ____________" or "you don't know what I'M going through."
Mostly because I feel like its selfish, i don't care if that an arrogant, or ignorant statement.
but it just is
its like you have to make an excuse for the way you let your self feel
the way YOU let yourself feel
ive done it, ive blamed life for the way i handled a situation. Ive "been to hell and back"
i went through the i dont know who i am, im not me bullshit.
but the truth is
we change EVERYDAY
i look at pictures of me a year ago and i have no idea who that person is, cant even idenify with her, i wouldnt be like her now. if i look back further and see who i was 3 years ago its even worse, 5 years ago 6 , 7
when i was skinny, sick, in love, dead, in highschool, when i did ballet, when i laughed, when i cryed, when i was an artist, when i wasnt hungry, when i dated him, or when i did that, or when i dated her, or when he died, or when he was born. In each of those times and each of those pictures, she was me and thats the part that i forget.
but the sooner i relieze that that was me and that i am her the sooner i can move forward to being myself.
life is unfair, fucked, hard, cold, dark, unkind, unsympathetic, insensitive, complex and beautiful.
its what we choose to see, be, feel , experience, extrapolate, LEARN.
there is so much truth to i learn something new everyday.
so much
I would not trade one bad thing thats happened to me because its taught me something. Has it made me a better person? i don't know but a wise man once said
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
everyone has terrible things happen to them, everyone gets dealt a shitty hand, we have all been through "it" what ever it may be, and i think its important to keep this in mind next time
life gets the best of you,
and you look to another person and say "you have no idea"
Mostly because I feel like its selfish, i don't care if that an arrogant, or ignorant statement.
but it just is
its like you have to make an excuse for the way you let your self feel
the way YOU let yourself feel
ive done it, ive blamed life for the way i handled a situation. Ive "been to hell and back"
i went through the i dont know who i am, im not me bullshit.
but the truth is
we change EVERYDAY
i look at pictures of me a year ago and i have no idea who that person is, cant even idenify with her, i wouldnt be like her now. if i look back further and see who i was 3 years ago its even worse, 5 years ago 6 , 7
when i was skinny, sick, in love, dead, in highschool, when i did ballet, when i laughed, when i cryed, when i was an artist, when i wasnt hungry, when i dated him, or when i did that, or when i dated her, or when he died, or when he was born. In each of those times and each of those pictures, she was me and thats the part that i forget.
but the sooner i relieze that that was me and that i am her the sooner i can move forward to being myself.
life is unfair, fucked, hard, cold, dark, unkind, unsympathetic, insensitive, complex and beautiful.
its what we choose to see, be, feel , experience, extrapolate, LEARN.
there is so much truth to i learn something new everyday.
so much
I would not trade one bad thing thats happened to me because its taught me something. Has it made me a better person? i don't know but a wise man once said
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
everyone has terrible things happen to them, everyone gets dealt a shitty hand, we have all been through "it" what ever it may be, and i think its important to keep this in mind next time
life gets the best of you,
and you look to another person and say "you have no idea"
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